Disappointments can have dire consequences. I am referring to the victims of lies, deception or treason, to people who find themselves left behind when their rightful expectations crash. I pity those who prove unable to deal with disappointments and get back on their feet because their lives may be shortened.
Seneca (4 BC-65 AD) provided excellent advice about how to deal with disappointments, but his insights are spread all over his writings. I regard the “Consolation to Polybius” as particularly relevant in this respect. Some experts question whether Seneca was its real author, but the matter has not been finally settled.
Polybius, a friend of Seneca’s, was the personal secretary of Emperor Claudius (10-54 AD). His job was to handle all state correspondence in Rome and with the provinces. Seneca wrote to Polybius to console him about his brother’s death, and gave advice equally suitable for dealing with disappointments.
Seneca recommended to Polybius to avoid lamentations and focus on his work, which was interesting, meaningful and very demanding. When we concentrate on productive tasks, Seneca explained, we automatically stop thinking about other subjects.
Polybius was also reminded that his distress was normal and inevitable. Everybody experiences losses of friends and family members now and then. The same applies to disappointments: now and then, we all see our expectations crashed, unfulfilled, or destroyed.
Seneca does not blame Polybius for blowing up the impact of his brother’s death out of proportion, but in the case of deep disappointments, we should first look for the cause within our beliefs and actions.
Seneca’s lesson drawn from Theophrastus
Where the 50th Letter to Lucilius says that we should check the facts carefully before making major decisions, it prompts me to think of Theophrastus (370-288 BC).
Nevertheless, I cannot ascertain if Seneca had gained this insight from reading Theophrastus, a thinker who had already observed that we can avoid disappointments if we check the facts before committing ourselves emotionally.
The insights of Theophrastus mirror those of Aristotle (384-322 BC) in the “Eudemian Ethics” and “Nicomachean Ethics.” If we want to prevent disappointments, deception and betrayal, it is up to us to practise the virtue of justice, and assess people and events accurately.
Disappointments can be substantially minimized if we judge people and circumstances correctly. In life, large numbers of disappointments are to be blamed on the victims, on their naive assessments of risks, on their outlandish expectations, or their underestimation of costs.
However, Seneca didn’t consistently call for proportionality and reason. If he had followed Theophrastus’ advice, he might have lived longer. If he had assessed risks more accurately, he might have avoided disappointments carrying harsh, deadly consequences.
Seneca’s reference to Epicurus
I consider it abominable when Seneca adopts a pessimistic, defeatist tone which categorises disappointments as inevitable, and identifies resignation as the only possible response.
This is the case of the 26th Letter to Lucilius, where Seneca makes an exhortation reminiscent of Epicurus (341-270 BC). The latter had told his disciples to prepare for death, meaning that they should keep in mind their limited lifespan, and not expect too much joy or pleasure.
If we proceed according to this insight, we will likely shun disappointments, but we might also shun happiness. I regard such a piece of advice as potentially pernicious.
Seneca’s best recommendations are those given to Polybius: stop complaining and focus on interesting work. Failing that, we can focus on interesting hobbies, persons, books, movies or any other activity that can capture our attention and steer us in the right direction.
Bartolome de las Casas (1484-1566) provides a compelling illustration of Seneca’s advice against disappointments. I don’t personally know anyone who has experienced disappointments as profound as those faced by Las Casas, but he kept trudging ahead day in and day out, making the best of his life.
Seneca’s insights and Bartolome de las Casas
Las Casas was only eighteen when he sailed from Spain to Cuba together with his father. Their plan was to settle down in the new territory conquered by the Spanish King, but they had not expected to witness massive brutality and exploitation.
Seneca had been confronted with disappointments in his life as a courtier, especially during his exile in Corsica and in his last years, but had never witnessed first hand the widespread, awful violence that Las Casas was facing in Central America.
To make things worse, Las Casas could not personally take any action to solve the problem in the short term. He became a priest in his early twenties and later joined the Dominicans, but his influence remained limited.
Las Casas devoted five decades of his life trying to improve the Indians’ legal status and living conditions in the territories conquered by Spain in Central and South America, but faced one disappointment after another.
Not only was Las Casas ostracized by the Spanish colonists, but he also had to endure constant insults, threats of violence, poverty and discrimination of all sorts. While he was labouring to do what is right, thousands of people opposed him and tried to suppress him.
Disappointments accompanied Las Casas year after year, in America and in Spain. While he could barely make a living, he saw his opponents, men such as Juan Gines Sepulveda (1490-1573) rise in earnings and reputation by supporting evil ideas.
Nonetheless, Las Casas kept going, following Seneca’s wise advice. Despite the enormous adversity he was facing, he kept writing and preaching the truth. His book titled “Account of the Situation in the Indies” (1552) is a masterpiece of human rights advocacy.
Las Casas’ incessant quest for justice is a bright example to follow by anyone confronted with disappointments. Indeed, the insights gained by Seneca are correct, but those insights only become alive when we see them implemented against all odds.
If you are interested in putting rational ideas into practice, I recommend my book titled “Against all odds: How to achieve great victories in desperate times.”
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