Conflict is the one of main sources of preoccupations in life. Interpersonal conflicts tend to generate higher anxiety than natural disasters. Most people find daily quarrels with their spouses more nerve-wrecking than one-in-a-lifetime damages inflicted by a volcano.
In his 78th Letter to Lucilius, Seneca studied negative emotions and provided useful recommendations. The validation of those strategies relies on historical anecdotes and Seneca’s own experience.
Seneca concentrated on how to deal with negative criticism, which he viewed as a frequent cause of interpersonal conflict, but his recommendations also apply to combating other types of preoccupations.
The key recipe given by Seneca is that, when confronted with negative criticism, we should emulate Socrates (469-399 BC), remain calm, ignore the insults and draw useful lessons if possible.
How Socrates and Cato dealt with criticism
Seneca is referring to an occasion when, in ancient Athens, Socrates was walking in the marketplace. He was surrounded by hundreds of people and many of them knew him personally.
At that point, a man came up to Socrates and began to insult him vociferously. People around them stood still and looked at Socrates, wondering how he was going to react.
Seneca recounts in his essay “On the Constancy of the Wise” that, against all expectations, Socrates did not react with rage. He remained calm because he was reflecting on whether he should feel affected by the event or not.
That’s the essence of Seneca’s formula: think first and react later, once you have assessed the consequences; keeping a cool head can bring you inestimable advantages in life.
When things fall apart and everybody is panicking, you will make better decisions if you stay calm. If you are being sternly criticised, it pays to postpone your reaction. Keep quiet, do not undertake any action until you have thought things through.
During the Roman civil wars, Cato the Younger (95-46 BC) was part of a Senate minority loyal to Republican institutions. His views made him severely unpopular.
Every time Cato walked to the Senate, he suffered verbal abuse. Nevertheless, he refused to be intimidated, maintained his composure, and stood his ground.
When it was pointless to engage in discussions, Cato simply remained silent and went on his way. If the criticism was right, Cato would make a mental note to correct his mistake.
Seneca underlines that Cato was willing to amend his errors to do better in the future, but at the same time, he was resolute to keep negative emotions at bay. If he had reacted angrily, he would have lost his peace of mind to no avail.
Seneca: Using criticism to increase resilience
I must say however that I do not endorse the advice given by Seneca in his 66th Letter to Lucilius. He encouraged readers to endure negative criticism for the sole sake of strengthening their soul.
The more negative criticism we endure, argued Seneca, the higher our resilience will be. He praised Diogenes the Cynic (412-323 BC) because his unconventional lifestyle would draw negative criticism and increase his resilience.
I disagree with Seneca because I find his strategy extremely time-consuming. Life offers too many occasions for us to experience negative criticism and strengthen our souls. I would try to reduce those as much as possible. I do not know anyone who would welcome more negative criticism than necessary.
Seneca rightly defers to the future the final decision whether today’s negative criticism is based on sound premises; opinions have little value if they are based on wrong perceptions, although people will sometimes defend their wrong perceptions fanatically.
The Roman general Fabius Maximus (280-203 BC) endured massive negative criticism in his lifetime because of his hyper-cautious strategy towards Hannibal.
The Roman Senate was egging Fabius on to engage face-to-face battle with Hannibal, but Fabius had studied the mistakes made by previous Roman generals. They had suffered terrible defeats precisely because of their overeagerness.
Instead of rushing to fight Hannibal at the first opportunity, Fabius kept manoeuvring in search of a tactical advantage. He had seen the foolishness of attacking Hannibal without proper reconnaissance. Fabius did not want to walk into a trap like his predecessors have done.
History proved that Fabius had been right. In fact, he can be credited with avoiding another defeat for Rome. Seneca praises Fabius for keeping a cool head in the face of massive political pressure.
When facing negative criticism, how can we put Seneca’s strategies into practice? Seneca provides an indirect answer in his 17th Letter to Lucilius, which addresses general philosophy. From reading Seneca, I draw the conclusion that the key to consistent implementation is to stay anchored in reason.
Seneca had understood that it requires superhuman strength to withstand social pressure, loud criticism, and threats. That’s why he recommended taking a step back, making a pause, and figuring out the path of reason.
In the face of a crisis, Seneca advised, we should “withdraw from the world,” so that we can keep a cool head, steer away from disaster, and make the right decisions.
When the pressure becomes overbearing, let us figure out how to gain a moment of repose. More often than not, that should be sufficient to strengthen our resolve and stay loyal to reason.
If you are interested in putting rational ideas into practice in all kinds of situations, I recommend my book “Against all odds: How to achieve great victories in desperate times.”
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