Social constraints are not a new phenomenon in history. In one way or another, they have existed as long as social structures. They reflect the displeasure of the people who hold the dominant opinions, and their attempts to prevent criticism and irreverent comments.
Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) wrote essays advocating for self-discovery and self-expression, but at the same time, he avoided acute controversy and provocation.
He wisely spoke in favour of tolerance, and refrained from putting his figures on somebody else’s wounds. In Montaigne’s own experience, people who refuse to consider soft arguments are seldom amenable to harsh ones.
Montaigne’s essay “That the Hour of Parley is Dangerous,” establishes reasonable limits for self-discovery, self-expression and debate. I mean reasonable limits for doing it in public.
The point of Montaigne is to identify disproportionate risks and dangers, and steer away from them. Instead of wasting our time and energies in acrimonious debates, Montaigne wants to ensure that we can keep pursuing self-development tomorrow and the day after.
Nowadays, people complain when they are confronted with any kind of restraints to self-discovery or self-expression. Fair enough, I understand their grievances and find them frequently justified.
However, today’s problems in that area are insignificant if we compare them with Montaigne’s century; he lived in France in the sixteenth century, amidst fierce religious wars.
Montaigne’s essay “That the Hour of Parley is Dangerous”
Montaigne witnessed first-hand intense religious hatred and prosecution, murders and confiscations; hundreds of thousands resorted to leaving the country and going into exile, mostly to The Netherlands; those who remained in France had to keep a low profile, fearing the sudden reignition of social strife.
When people hate each other, noted Montaigne, they rarely listen to arguments. Emotions take over and prevent rationality from functioning; and without dialogue, negotiation becomes practically impossible.
Montaigne is warning us against attempting self-discovery, self-expression or personal development amidst hostility. If we are lucky, we will have wasted our time and energies. If we are not, we will have made dangerous enemies for life.
Overall, it is an awful strategy to seek self-discovery or self-expression amongst hateful people. Who on earth has energies to invest in counterproductive activities? There are much better ways to pursue personal development. Let us heed Montaigne’s advice in this respect:
Montaigne on when to pursue self-expression
[1] Let us not waste time with people who had lied to us in the past. Chances are that they will continue to lie in the future, or that they will manipulate us in some way or another.
During his period a practising lawyer in Bordeaux (France), Montaigne had witnessed the worst of human nature in action. On many occasions, the underlying problem could have been avoided it the claimant had refrained from dealing with people of bad character.
It takes experience to assess a person’s character accurately, but we don’t need to do all the work ourselves: Nowadays, the internet has made it easier for us. Before making an investment or a major purchase, it is wise to check the counterparty.
Do they have a good, solid reputation? If there are negative reviews, do they appear credible? Do they refer to major flaws or to secondary aspects?
Montaigne emphasises ethical consistency or integrity, that is, the coherence between words and actions, as a primary test. If we perceive a lack of consistency (e.g., misrepresentation), it is better to steer away from those people and save ourselves a great deal of trouble.
Insincere people constitute a severe risk and, for that reason, they cannot contribute positively to our personal development. Let us find a better environment to pursue our self-discovery and self-expression.
Montaigne on what hinders self-expression
[2] We will make better decisions if we pay closer attention to past performance. I mean third-parties’ performance and our own. If we want to forecast the future, let us check the past and make reasonable projections.
It is important to keep our expectations realistic: Neither too pessimistic nor too optimistic. Montaigne reminds us to assess the facts first-hand whenever possible, and not give automatic credence to gurus, promoters, and propagandists.
Montaigne mentions Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC) as a witness of how rhetoric is used to distort past history, raise expectations and delude people about future results.
Cicero had compiled his rhetorical techniques in his treatise “On the Orator,” letting his readers decide for which purpose to use those techniques. The purpose could be commercial (sales presentations), forensic (litigation), military recruitment, etc.
Montaigne was aware of those techniques, and that why he preferred to rely on past results. Those can help us figure out if we can pursue self-discovery and self-expression, and expect a reasonably good result, or if we are being manipulated through clever rhetoric.
If we fail to identify the reasonable limits for self-discovery and self-expression, the outcome can be disastrous. Nowadays, the damage might not be so large as in the Wars of Religion of the sixteenth century, but it can still be sizeable.
Montaigne had titled his essay “That the Hour of Parley is Dangerous” because of the Massacre of Vassy in 1562, the St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre in 1572, and other dark episodes of the French religious wars.
I do hope that those tragedies never happen again, but still, I endorse Montaigne’s call for prudence. Let us pursue personal development, self-discovery and self-expression with serenity and tolerance, and steer away from hostility.
If you are interested in putting rational principles into action here and now, I recommend you my book titled “Asymmetry: The shortcut to success when success seems impossible.”